So I got pulled over by CHP on Labor Day

10:00 PM, Monday night, Labor day, I'm driving the Z with Gabe to SF and got pulled over at Oakland Road off 101. Fuck dude. Why? I don't even know.


"Get off the freeway."(bold = cop) Super monotone voice, coming from the intercom from behind.

"Pull over right here, to the right"

FUUUUUUUUU- My insurance and registration, all these things were accounted for, the proof however, wasn't.

They came up from the passenger side.

"Do you have your driver's license? Your license plate light is too dim, so are your head lights."

"Yes sir." I told him, "I"m gonna reach into my bag over here to grab my wallet."

"WHAT! REACH WHERE?!"

I freaked out, man. I was like "Oh, right here. In my bag."

"Oh, okay."

Second officer talks to gabe

"Why isn't your seat belt on?"

Gabe's surprised, he shows him that his lap belt on because he didn't know how to use the shoulder belt.

"Alright, let's figure this out."

Officer #2 pulls out the strap and connects it to the lap belt, smirking, bro.

"You guys do any meth?" as he smiles

"Haha, yeah! All the time officer!" We said it almost simultaneously, he was totally joking. Then he loses the smirk and tells me to get out of the car.

"How much meth do you do? Show me your arms."

"none officer! I thought you were joking because you were smirking!"

"Haha, man, I'm embarassed."

cop#2 "Hahaha, did you hear any meows?" (super troopers reference)

"Alright you two, get outta here."



Gabe and I were LULING the entire time, that wasn't it though, I got back into the car and since the headlights were on, the battery died. The alternator hasn't been nice to me either, though it was running just fine before I was pulled over. So the cops pull up next to us and ask if we want to be CHP officers, haha.

"Could you help me push the car? I'm gonna push start it"

"What? Sorry man, no manual labor."

They push it with gabe and I start it up. It dies the second I turn on the lights. Then they start speaking a ton of random spanish over the intercom, keep in mind they were two white guys around my age.

"QUE PASO?"

I had to ask them again, so they start pushing again, give up, and start pushing the Z with their crown vic and it starts up again.

"Don't forget your friend"

I pick gabe up, turn on the lights, and it dies again.

"no more freebies, it's gonna be ten bucks next time."

Bumper contact, and then vroooooooooom

"We are going fast"

Haha, man, these guys were fucking with us the entire time. They were pretty cool, but it was the death of my Z in the end. I drove it for like 20 miles with no lights on with my girlfriend driving behind me with her highbeams. If I turned on the lights while driving, it wouldn't fire correctly. So 20 miles afterward, the car just died. Had to tow it the rest of the way to SF.

I suck at story telling but I hope I conveyed the fucking sarcasm of those CHP officers, cool and funny, but fuck, my Z. Haha